Monday, January 30, 2006

It's been quite a day.

Where shall I start?

Well, first of all, it's our 13th wedding day today. It's almost unbelievable that we managed to stay married that long. Add another four years and you know that Redhead and I have been a couple for seventeen years.

Seventeen years. That's about the time it takes for a boy to grow into a young man... or an adult to grow into a middleaged fart. *sigh*

I also became uncle for the sixth time since my baby sister HouseWife gave birth to a little boy early this morning. Too bad I hate her husband StatusHunter. It's a long story.

Oh yes... you want to know about the movie, don't you?

First of all, this morning was foggy. I mean really foggy, like driving in milk. It was also cold, about minus 4 degrees Celsius (24.8 degrees Fahrenheit), which made for some spectacular scenery on my way to Ystad (the town where the shot took place). I was in a hurry and didn't stop to take pictures but I got at least one good shot through the windshield.

To give you an idea of the fog there's this picture:
The fog is literally rolling in. At first I thougth it was a snowstorm coming. It reminded me somewhat of a short-story by Stephen King, called "The Mist".

Anyway, as I was approaching Ystad my cell phone rang. It was the cast-lady (Sara) who told me that the shot was to be delayed, possibly until one o'clock. That meant that I would have to spend almost three hours on my own in Ystad!

Now, Ystad is a beautiful little town during summer but as I was driving, looking for a parking space, I realized that this town could be summed up in one word now: Grey. The weather was grey, the otherwise colorful houses were grey and even the people looked grey. It was quite depressing.

As I finally found a parking space, close to The Church of Saint Mary (Sankta Maria kyrka), I locked the car and started to walk around. It was freezing cold, not because of low temperatures but the very moist air. It was like walking in tiny ice particles.

I found a jeweler and bought a present for RedHead, an 18K gold medallion with three diamonds in an arrow + a necklace, which all-in-all cost me $123. Here's a picture of it:

Then I found a shoe sale and walked away with a pair of brown suede shoes. They were 30 per cent down. At that time I was beginning to freeze and found myself a McDonalds, ate a hamburger and just generally increased my body temperature.

After that I went back to my car and put my purchases in the trunk and had a smoke. I was standing just outside a restaurant and a young women came out, talking into a cell phone. She said something about "extras" so I took a wild guess that this might be Sara. I was standing about five feet away and she had her back towards me. After ending her conversation she dialled a new number. Guess who's...

She took a quick look over her shoulder as my phone started to ring but didn't make the connection. Not until I answered and told her I was right behind her, that is. We both laughed and she asked me if I had worked for her before. I told her I hadn't but she looked familiar too. Then she told me that they were having lunch and that the shot was to take place at approximatly 2.00 AM. If I was hungry there was a free lunch waiting for me at the (cheaper) Chinese restaurant across the street.

To make it shorter, we all met up at the shot at 2.00 AM. The studio was actually a dentist's office. There was me, another guy, two women in their late thirties and two young girls in their mid-twenties. In the picture one of the older women is missing. She was actually undressing since she was to show off her hooters to the "surgeon".

It was decided that me and the other guy were going to trade places. I was NOT to be a plastic surgeon. DAMN! But looking at the picture you can see why. He looks a lot more like a doctor than I do. The smiling girl on the left was a fucking Paris Hilton lookalike, but with brains. The woman in the blue shirt beside me was a very nice woman from a town not far from where I live. The "doctor" lives in the same little village as the main characters father is supposed to. The girl in the middle... oboy, did she have a rack... She was actually hired just because of those two male-attractors. Yes, I had to look too. Twice. I AM of the male species remember?

Now for the shot. The girls were supposed to be clients to this very exclusive plastic surgeon. The other guy was to walk down the hallway and the "nurse" was walking in the opposite direction.

Me? You want to know what I had to do? At first, I was to sit, reading, in the waiting room (visible for about five seconds) but to my disappointment that was changed. First I was to "speak" to the nurse (visible for about three seconds) but then they changed it to me speaking to the receptionist (visible for about eight seconds).

This is where things could have gone awfully wrong. The young Asian woman playing the receptionist and also a "real" actress showed herself to be an inconsidarete upper-class bitch. At first she was to follow an "police officer" and then to return back and "talk" to me. As we were pretending to look at some brochures she whispered that I didn't need a plastic surgeon, but a dentist. Did I get pissed? Oh hell, did I get pissed...

I am a bit sensitive about my teeth, especially if someone who doesn't know me or knows what kind of a life I've had, comments them. I managed to keep my face straight but leaned a bit towards her, grinned and whispered: It's easy for you, you upper-class cunt, to raise that kind of money. All you have to do is open your mouth and swallow." And then I gave her another big smile.

That could have ended bad on my part but she decided to be a "professional" and pretend she didn't hear me. I rarely get pissed at beautiful women but this little cunt crossed a line and I will sure as hell don't back down just because they happen to be on the screen once in a while. As my late father used to say about "successful" people: Their poo smells no better than mine and they have to wipe their asses too."

Anyhow, that little shot was disregarded. Instead they let me walk across the hallway as the "receptionist" was following the "police officer". I was probably visible for half a second. I don't mind, it was in every aspect a new experience.

This last picture shows me and the "main suspect". He's quite famous but of course I lost his name. As RedHead saw this picture she said he looked like a real sleeze-ball. I hate to say it, but he was. As soon as he saw the girl with the hooters he started to work on her. She was a bit impressed by his fame so I guess she's having herself some actors dick tonight. Not that there's anything wrong with having sex but with some guys you just get the feeling that it's all about trophys. I wonder if he's ever had a relationship with a woman his own age?

Now, what do I think of all this? It was great! Most of the people, especially the extras, were very nice. I loved the experience and the look behind the scenes. I also came to the conclusion that most actors are jerks. Nevertheless, if asked, I'll do it again. :)


Shark-fu said...

P.O.P. is famous! Fantabulous!

What an adventure....

My father said the same thing (sort of) about people and poo...something about everyone getting up in the morning and taking a shit the same way.

Poo brings us all together on the same level.

Glad you told that snot off!

Catherine Vocalist said...

That was great!

I would've smacked the bitchiness out of that chick lol

But you held your own. I'm very proud of you..

ScandinavienNova said...

I can't believe how you can think minus 4 is cold? I think that southern people are whiny and remember that I am from there too.. We have minus 18 today, now we can start talking about cold ;)

Sorry to hear about the role change.. But what you said to her was so evil great *grin*

Virginia Gal said...

Happy anniversary!! 13 years - wow, I'm impressed.

The movie sounded like a lot of fun - I have to agree the other guy looked more "surgeon-y" but I could see you as being maybe the intern?
I agree actors are weird - they have to be, to be in that industry.

Maidink said...

A) Happy Anniversary!!

B) Twenty-four degrees F is cold to me. Anything below forty, I need a parka.

C) I'm glad all went well on the set, aside from the role switching.

D) Love the comeback to the "actress". Some knob-slobbing whores are dense, though. She might have taken it as a compliment.

But we love ya, POP!

Susan D. said...

Wow - I'm impressed you came up with that zinger when you needed it! I'm always one to think of the perfect comeback - 3 hours later.

13 years is a long time. My hubby and I have only 4 and a half years married - but we were together about 13 years before that. Like you, I say "what a long, strange trip it's been." - Grateful Dead

Littlemilk said...

Funny story. And that girl did have a big bust, saw it on first glance. And the guy is cute, but "sleeze ball" does come up on the bs detector.

Actor's dick is overrated anyway.

PissedOffPencil said...

Wow, what a lot of comments...

Okey everyone, thanks for congratulating our anniversery. Those of you who have read my "marriage story" know it's been a bumpy road and there's still more to tell.

I most certainly won't become famous and to be honest I have no wish to be.

-4 degrees C (24.8 F) is not really cold but throw in some wind and a big dose of humidity, I can tell you it's freezing cold.

I usually don't come up with smart answers like that but this time I did.

I don't know much about actor dicks but I once screwed a girl who later became a porn star here in Sweden.