Sunday, November 27, 2005

My marriage, part two

Okay.

If you haven't read part 1, you've missed the warning I issued. Suit yourself, but don't blame me if you find anything offensive.

As I stated in the previous part, RedHead wasn't exactly a virgin when I met her, but she sure as hell didn't have much experience either. For her, sex was to spread her legs and get fucked. At the age of twenty she had become a fuck-and-forget kind of girl. I found this quite intriguing since sexual education is mandatory in Swedish schools and porn is readily available. It's quite impossible not to pick up some pointers to a fulfilling sexlife somewhere.

After a couple of dates I eventually told her that I found it a bit strange that she wasn't a virgin but behaved like one. At first she became pretty pissed since she considered herself as very experienced, but after she calmed down a bit she asked me what I meant. Our conversation went something like this:

-Well, how many serious relationships have you had?"
-Serious? You mean like dating more than once or twice?"
-Yes." She thought about it for a second.
-You're my fourth serious relation."
-Four serious relationships and by that you count yourself as experienced?"
-Well, I've fucked around a lot too."
-Ah, but did the guys fuck you or did you fuck them?"
-I don't know. Is there a difference?"
-Let me rephrase that. Did the guys pick you up or did you pick them up?"
-I guess they picked me up."
-So you followed them home and got fucked?"
-Well, yes, but I hadn't done it unless I was interested in them. Or at least was a bit drunk and horny."
-And afterwards?"
-If they didn't made me come, I just left."
-Has it occurred to you that your lack of initiative actually made them perform badly?"
-If they're no good in bed, that's not my problem."

(That last sentence was later going to show quite typical for RedHeads way of thinking.)

-Actually RedHead, it is. On these dates we've had, I've had to either show you that I was horny or ask you if you were in the mood. You have not once taken the initiative to some hay-rolling fun. Instead, you've been following me around like a little puppy, waiting for me to snap my fingers and give you an order. In everything else you've been showing a lot of independence and a mind of your own, but in sex you're almost submissive. Submissive can be nice, but all the time, well, that´s boring."

She took her things and walked out the door, furious.

Three days later she called me. She was drunk. Not plastered but she was certainly not completely sober. She asked me if she could come over and spend the night, so we could talk things over. Fifteen minutes later she pushed me backwards over my bed and said something like: "I'll show you submissive." She almost fucked my brains out. Booze and anger had turned her into a sex goddess, at least on this occasion.

Afterwards, I asked her why she came back. She had never given me the impression of being the kind of woman that returned to someone who had angered her. (In fact, she had given me the impression of being a very unforgiving and revengeful woman, the kinds you see in soap operas.)

-You bastard, you know why."
-Do I? Please enlighten me, oh redheaded goddess that smells of cheap wine. 'Cause I haven't got a clue, although I very much enjoyed your return." She gave me a real hearty laughter.
-That's one reason. You always make me laugh."
-Oh, and what else?"
-You make me come, every time."
-Maybe I shouldn't tell you this but it's not all that hard in your case. What else made you call me?"
-I was dreaming about you every night, you know..."
-Ah, some nasty sweaty dreams?"
-Yes, you might call them that. Damn, I've been horny ever since I walked out the door."
-I'll take that as a compliment, and of course you relieved yourself from the tension?"
-What do you mean?"
-You know, masturbate. You do masturbate, don't you?"
-Oh, yes, of course."

(This immediately struck me as a lie and it also gave me a little clue to how she felt about herself and, most important, about her body.)

-So you decided to drink some wine, got horny and then you called me."
-Well, sort of. My mother and I had a real bad fight over you. She called me all sorts of things and said that she didn't raise her girls to jump into bed with funfair people. According to her you're all thieves, drunkards and drug addicts."
-Yeah, she should know since your Uncle, her baby brother, was exactly like that."
-That's the real bad part. My Uncle once claimed that it was you who got him hooked on drugs."

This really freaked me out. RedHead's Uncle had been a classmate of mine, a so-called "troubled youth" and one of the few male friends I ever had. He had been helping us at the funfair during summer holidays and travelled a lot with us. My parents took him in as if he was a sibling of mine, for crying out loud. We chased girls together in a friendly competitions way. Since none of us were taking any drugs, except for the occasional beer, this was an accusation that really hurt. I knew for a fact that her Uncle had started out with drugs several years later, about the same time he did his military service. A few years later he was working as a male prostitute in the gay district of Malmö to finance his drug abuse.

-You can tell your mother that if there's anyone that should be blamed for his drug abuse, it's your Grandmother."
-I know, and so does my mother. She just used it as a weapon. Her boyfriend had to go between us to calm everything down. He told her that I was twenty years old and had the right to sleep with whomever I wanted to."
-And then you called me?"

-No. My mother's boyfriend, GrizzlyBear, literally lifted us out of the kitchen and into the living room, ordering us to talk to, not scream at, each other. Which wasn't easy, my mother in tears and all. Anyway, we made a compromise. I am going to tell her if I´m sleeping over and she'll stop demanding to know all about my whereabouts."
-And then you called me?"
-No. GrizzlyBear told us to take a glass of wine or two to celebrate that we had behaved like adults, both of us. My mother took a glass of whisky and I took half a bottle of wine."
-And then you called me."
-Yes, and in the instant I heard your voice I just knew I loved you."

Ouch.

We talked a lot that night. I told her about Tina and how much I had loved her. I told her about the pain as Tina broke up with me. I told her that I still wasn't ready to commit myself emotionally to anyone quite yet but that I did like her a lot. If she couldn't accept that, we'd both be better off ending our relationship right there.

-All I know is that I love you and if I ever meet Tina, I'll kill her. I'm going to fight for you."
-So you're prepared to take all that pain and grief if we later find out that it doesn't work out?"
-I'm going to make you forget all about her."

And for the next hour, she did.



Damn, I had thought that I would be at least halfway through everything that led up to my current situation, but this promises to become a freakin' novel.

2 comments:

Me said...

Cool novel! So the redhead is starting to melt a bit...

Piggy and Tazzy said...

This is fab!

So, part 3? I take it you're writing it already?